Email: Pepper/Tony

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: The Grand Organizer of Chaos Incarnate
From: Arms Deep in Wires
Subject: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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And yes, I'm keeping that title even after the Loki crap. He's got nothing on my workroom.

1. Funding for rebuilding projects: transfer some funds to where Steve and Clint are volunteering in Midtown. Seems like most of the work force is volunteers who lived in the building and are working multiple jobs. I'm sure they wouldn't mind some extra income or more professional helping hands.

2. Yinsen Scholarship program. What other paperwork do we need to fill out for this to get it up and running so we can have our first recipients next school year? Still need to figure out the best way to properly judge the practical part of the application without just falling back on a good old science fair.

3. Need to set up parameters for how helpful JARVIS needs to be for the guests so he doesn't get outlogiced again. I don't care if it was good logic, JARVIS, I can't have people flying my jet with Stark Industries printed on the side to who knows where at whenever they like. Next thing you know, it'll be the cars and I spent too much time perfecting them for anyone but me to wreck them.

4. Maybe writing up some house rules would be good too. Otherwise Natasha might eat all the ice cream out of spite for me ousting you as 'ruiner of fun'. Not high on my priority list, but there's your warning if there's any flavors you want to stockpile in a private freezer. She likes pistachio.

5. Speaking of Natasha, can I tap that? A man only has so much willpower.

6. Bad segue, but schedule private dinner out so I can show you off in that new dress I had you buy for yourself.

7. Buy more fun group activities for the house so that people are not as tempted to touch my toys. Video games, more movies. I promise that I won't take apart the Rock Band equipment this time. Same goes with a karaoke machine. Maybe some hoops?

8. Find a good testing zone for Rhodes' armor. I'd rather not have him fall 95 stories if I miscalibrated it after the upgrades.

9. Check medical supply stocks. With all this talk of sparring and training, I have a feeling we'll need it. And by we I mean me and Bruce.

10. Only thing that could be a ten is you. If you haven't bought yourself something special recently, you should. Boss' orders. Consider this the signature on the PO.

Comments

[pepperinapot]

To: Stop Changing My E-mail Title
From: I'm serious, I have to use this for work.
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person


You can keep the title, but please don't try to open any voids to hell. It's already messy enough here with the contractors parading in.

1. Done and done. I gave Steve one of your old laptops, by the by. Poor guy has a lot to catch up on.

2. Also done. I was thinking we could do something along the lines of the Netflix award. Set a specific problem to be solved and judge based on solutions. Maybe clean energy? Something you think he would have approved of.

3. I vote on a sliding scale. Those that prove reliable get to move further up the permissions ladder. No one should have access to the jet without scheduling it far ahead of time. I need that in case of company emergencies. Doesn't SHIELD have it's own transport? Maybe you should build something just for the Avengers.

4. We'll need a house meeting first. I'll start looking at everyone's schedule and make one. Rules won't work if we don't all agree to follow them.

5. Wow. Resolved your issues with her rather fast, didn't we? But yes. Fine. Don't come crying to me if she takes a bite out of you though.

6. That is a godawful segue. You want to take me on a date after...actually there's a French place I want to try. 7pm Saturday night. If you're late, I'm going to throw in a ballet just to torture you.

7. We have a fully equipped gym, including a basketball court...or we will once it's fixed again. The rest is easy. We'll add it to the entertainment center in the shared living room.

8. That might take some time. Why can't the military provide something?

9. Do not fight the others without the suit. It's one thing if you get banged up saving the world, another if you get in a grudge match with Captain America. I'll lay in supplies, but they better only need to be used for accidents.

10. Actually, it's funny you say that. I was thinking of getting something that we'd both like. Since we're redoing our floor, how would you feel about getting a new shower? I like the rainforest rain kind that we had in Milan.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Ruiner of Fun
From: Yes I'm Reverting You to Your Default
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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I think I've amazingly had my fill of strange portals leading to danger filled areas.

1. Stellar. I hope it was one that still had all its parts. Although we probably would have heard by now if that was the case. Maybe... He does know what it's supposed to look like when it's actually working, right?

2. Also brilliant. I like it. Make it a go. I'm sure you've already got PR plans too to rope in our current tech.

3. SHIELD already sent memos to them about not using SHIELD tech for their freelance business. Avengers specialty craft would be useful though. As long as they didn't use that for their freelancing. That's a nightmare waiting to happen.

4. What are we, a democracy? Here I was thinking us as benevolent rulers would be making all the rules.

5. Ask JARVIS for the rooftop surveillance videos. You know me and nakedness. It's hard to ignore nakedness.

6. Ok, the segue wasn't supposed to be that bad. I meant a dinner in general, not after number 5. I'm not that heartless. How about the split the difference and toss in a movie with the dinner. Your choice. Just remember how much I drool when I fall asleep sitting up.

7. Brilliant. All these floors, I forget what we have. We do have a functional pool, right? I told Steve we did. The actual swimming kind as opposed to the fun hot tub kind.

8. Because the military getting involved with his armor worked so well last time.

9. Talk to Steve about that. Training, team building, what if you're without the suit again, blah, blah, logic, blah.

10. I knew there was a reason I let you do all the purchasing orders. That was a nice shower if I'm remembering it right.

[pepperinapot]

To: That's not what you called me the other night
From: when I did that thing you like with my tongue
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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Good. I hate when you warp the space time continuum.

1. I made sure it was working. I didn't want him to think he broke it before using it. He's pretty smart, actually. I bet he picks it up fast.

2. I am made up of plans. My plans have plans. Mostly about PR.

3. Are they allowed to freelance? If assassins freelance, isn't that just straight up murder?

4. You decided to share our house with a half dozen dangerous adults. If you would like to put them in a position where they can stage a coup, I will sit back and laugh at you while it happens.

5. I know you and nakedness. You and nakedness and me are very well known. When you share your nakedness with others, I tend not to want to watch.

6. It does somewhat lessen the peace offering when you're already threatening to fall asleep, but I accept. Maybe we can go see Casablanca. It's showing at an art theater and I haven't seen it since college.

7. We have a pool. I was thinking when we're finished, we should get a hot tub on the roof.

8. They still technically own it. I know you're in denial about this, but I can't legally make them give it back. I've tried. Bastards.

9. I will make my opinions known. Forcefully. But I expect you to advocate for yourself.

10. Ordered. Any other requests for our suite?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Doer of the Thing
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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I think I'd get in trouble with my teammates if I went around doing that.

1. Smart and tech smart don't always match up. That's good to know though.

2. And that's why we pay you the big bucks.

3. Supposedly. I don't like it. But then I wonder how much trouble they'd cause around here if they weren't taking freelance.

4. I'm not sure what would do less damage, a coup or a house meeting.

5. Oh, so it's you who's been flagging all those YouTube videos. How dare you deny the world the glory of my ass. Although you keep typing naked and I might forget about all the other points on this email.

6. It was merely a fact to help push you into proper movie picking. I can do with a dose of the classics. I haven't gotten my quota for the week yet.

7. I think we have one already. Either that or JARVIS has managed to create very realistic holograms. Nope, he's informing me that that is indeed a hot tub. Excellent. Although a private one would be nice. I'll move that down to item 10.

8. Bastards. You'd think they'd learn after giving us those medals and all. Still don't trust them for testing.

9. Been there, done that. I got big blue puppy dog eyes about the good of the team and how it's for my own safety. Who knew that honest, wholesome vibe was so persuasive?

10. Personal hot tub. And masseuse lessons.

[pepperinapot]

To: Thoroughly Distracted
From: Mildly Amused
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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Most likely. Let's stick to profitable ventures, shall we?

1. I'm not sure he's actually tech smart, but I think he's fast enough to get context clues and such. He won't need a babysitter. I worry more about Thor. More culture shock.

2. Speaking of big bucks, I'm thinking of investing in some startups. Small businesses around the metro area. Get some money flowing into the city. What do you think?

3. I'd rather not think about it. They are, at the end of the day, Fury's problem. Unless they drag other people into it.

4. ...I'll take that under consideration and schedule the house meeting in one of the Hulk reinforced rooms.

5. Focus Tony. You can't be naked on the internet all the time. People will eventually get bored. Please ration your nudity to when your words are no longer effective on company moral.

6. It's a date. Pick a color: blue or green.

7. We need a map of the tower before it turns into a mad house with doors leading to nowhere.

8. I'd fight you, but I hate working with them too. I'll find you a place. Don't break Rhodey.

9. All of America. Do you know how many bonds he sold? It's sort of frightening.

10. Yes to hot tub...I'll consider the lessons if you promise to get them too.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Mildly Amused
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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I liked that name well enough to keep it. I like the profitable ventures anyways.

1. Bigger ego too. Most we'll likely have to worry about Steve doing is volunteering himself to death.

2. Another brilliant idea. Send me the lists for me to go over. And a reminder to JARVIS for me to look through them.

3. That's where my brain goes. You should give me a cookie though. I slapped wrists and everything.

4. I'll be good and not bring up the surveillance videos. I'll save the pleasure of seeing whether Bruce blushes red or green for another time.

5. People never get bored of me. I wouldn't keep making the tabloids if they did.

6. Is neither a choice? I'd like to see you wear neither.

7. Yes, I'd rather know if there's a labyrinth in my tower before I stumble into it by accident.

8. Thanks babe. I'll try my best.

9. I'm not a lonely housewife though. That Farrah Fawcett hairflip won't work on me.

10. You got a deal.

[pepperinapot]

To: Thoroughly Distracted
From: Mildly Amused
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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I'm reducing this to points that aren't resolved.

2. Done.

3. I will give you several cookies. Good job and much appreciated.

4. Don't break Bruce. He looks like he's inclined to be your friend and you can always use another one.

5. Sad, but true.

6. If you choose a color, I promise to wear nothing underneath.

7. No minotaurs. New house rule.

9. No, your hair just does that weird gravity defying thing that I like. Try to wash it before our date? If you do, I'll run my fingers through it.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Mildly Amused
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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You'd think you were trying to hurry me along getting rid of my points. Do you have other plans again? Or is this one of your attempts to stop me from talking?

2. I'm keeping this here just because. It's the principle of the matter.

3. Yeah, for some odd reason I thought having a jet with Stark Industries plastered on it at hit sights would be a bad idea. Not quite sure why. I think someone's common sense is rubbing off on me.

4. Are you saying I'm bad at making friends? I'm wounded deeply.

5. Besides, if they weren't so interested in that, they might actually notice all these charitable things we're doing and think I'm a nice guy or something. Would totally ruin this playboy image I worked years to obtain.

6. Alright. Twist my arm. Blue it is.

7. Aw, and I was just thinking that genetic engineering and gene splicing would be my next new project. Again, ruining all my fun.

9. Again, twisting my arm to try and force me to keep up with personal hygiene. Whatever would I do without you.

[pepperinapot]

To: Thoroughly Distracted
From: Mildly Amused
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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It's getting late and I'd like to head home and find our bed actually. Preferably with you in it, but at this point, sleep sounds fine, even alone.

2. It's decorative.

3. I'm delighted. Common sense should be more common.

4. You are fantastic at making friends. You are sort of horrible at maintaining them. Me. Rhodey. Happy. Am I missing anyone? Not counting the robots, who are lovely, but friends don't count if you invent them.

5. This is why I sit on those pictures of you at the Children's Hospital. Think of the scandal.

6. Fantastic. I love the Dior and I have a new pair of shoes that should make me taller than you.

7. The thought of you tinkering with genes might give me nightmares. What would you do with it all?

9. Without me, you would....most likely be fine. Well. Maybe you would have starved to death in '03 or died in that lab fire. And no one would be running your company, so there's that...ok, without me you'd be pretty screwed actually.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Mildly Amused
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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2. Are you questioning my taste in art again? I think it's a wonderful decoration. All curvy and two-y.

3. Don't get too used to it. I can feel the urge to do three impulsive things just to make up for it rising.

4.

[pepperinapot]

To: Thoroughly Distracted
From: Mildly Amused
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

Did you fall asleep? I'm coming home. I'll let you be the big spoon tonight. My back hurts and I could use the warmth.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Mildly Amused
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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Oh, no. Nothing that humiliating. Just a small... malfunction. For some odd reason JARVIS thought some swearing meant he should send the email.

Moving on with the list.

4. Robots count. It's in the Stark Manifesto. So, you can add Dummy, Butterfingers, and JARVIS to the list. Or at least JARVIS. He'd be horribly wounded if you didn't include him. Would you, JARVIS? He's agreeing with me. He also has a note to tell you he agrees as soon as you read this.

5. Obviously I'm corrupting them at an early age. Or testing some horrible, unknown Stark made disease on them. I am nefarious like-

Ah, screw it. I'll tell you the rest up in bed. You know, before you do those things where you try and make me stop talking.

[pepperinapot]

To: Thoroughly Distracted
From: Mildly Amused
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

You like it when I make you stop talking. You make that face and breath hard. Anyway, leaving the office now. If I time it right, I should be getting into bed within a half hour. Be there or I'm using the back massager for my womanly needs instead of you.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Mildly Amused
From: Thoroughly Distracted
Subject: re: You know I'll forget if I wait until I see you in person

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Now, Pepper, you know how I don't like you using my arguments against me. Especially when within one email. 'Robots' don't count for everything.

I'll be there. Having JARVIS set me an alarm, just in case.