I love the Java Jive [Tony/Rhodey - ass early Saturday morning]

[playboy_philanthropist]

There was a point that night when Tony had to weigh which was the better course of action: try and sleep for a few hours or stay up through the night. The latter was more appealing considering the field day his subconscious was having over this week between Loki's conversation and the mission to Dubai which wasn't even his but still kept sticking needles of 'what ifs' into the back of his mind. In the end though, sleep won out and, after a glass of scotch, he crawled into bed with Pepper.

Her early wake-up time meant he was in the communal kitchen plenty of time before dawn. He wasn't surprised to see that Rhodey was there already and breakfast was on the table. That was the military for you. Picking up a bagel with lox, he took a big bite before his eyes narrowed at the odd noises the coffee maker was making as Rhodey stood in front of it. He tried to wait patiently, but when the machine blew another raspberry, he shook his head.

"Ok, ok. I think you need to step aside now," he said as he stepped beside Rhodey and gently shouldered him aside. "Because we need that and I am not having everyone sneaking into my lab more than normal to use my machine down there. And none of us want to see these people without coffee."

Comments

[lt_col_rhodes]

Rhodey yawned and scowled at the machine. "Good morning Sunshine, did you build it to hate me?" The machine never worked for him. That's why he had an old fashioned coffee press secreted in one of the cabinets. At least he could make that work, if nothing else. He'd also already done a bit of exercise but he was anticipating the morning being a lot of exercise. If nothing else in patience. He did step away from the coffee maker to let Tony coax out the precious mana.

[playboy_philanthropist]

Tony snorted as he started pushing the buttons on the machine. "As if I've had time to build intelligent, Rhodey hating coffee makers," he said before smirking. "Now the dishwasher. The dishwasher you have to watch out for."

Checking the coffee bean drawer, he shifted the beans a bit before closing the door. "Come on, baby," he cooed. "It's alright now. You can give my buddy here some coffee without fuss. I won't get jealous. I know you'll always love me best." He smirked smugly as the machine fired up smoothly and filled the mug. He handed the mug to Rhodey. "Sorry, honey, you just don't have the magic touch," he teased before reaching to get a mug of his own to fill with strong coffee. He took another bite of his bagel before raising an eyebrow. "Anything good keep you up last night?"

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I'm so hurt," Rhodey intoned in a monotone. "Luckily I still do my dishes by hand. Too many bad habits, and he liked the simple pleasure of washing his own dishes, getting them sparkling clean and knowing he didn't have any baked on food anywhere. He laughed softly at Tony talking to the machine. He knew Tony was rubbing in the fact that Rhodey couldn't get a decent cup of joe out of it.

Taking the cup from Tony he took a sip and grimaced. Still too weak but then he liked his coffee hot and strong enough to melt spoons. Proper Air Force coffee. "I slept like a virgin in a temple. Just got up at the usual time and ran some before making breakfast. What about you? Did you sleep at all?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Well, if you really want the coffee maker hating you instead, I suppose I could put it on my to-do list," Tony joked before pulling his filled cup from the machine and taking a deep drink.

"I wouldn't mention virgins in temples to loudly," he said with a snort of amusement. "You might have a very disappointed god of thunder showing up in your room." Leaning against the counter, he took another sip of coffee. The quip of saying he'd been kept up all night flitted through his brain, but considering everyone knew full well who would be keeping him up if that was the case, he skipped over it for the truth. "I clocked in a few hours. Couldn't have myself falling asleep with such an exciting day in the works."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"It already hates me," Rhodey pointed out cheerful enough, now that he had his coffee. He grabbed one more bagel, loaded it with cream cheese and lox and offered Tony half. "Want?"

"Do you have plans other than going apple picking and wine drinking?" Rhodey questioned curiously. He was looking forward to this himself. It was probably going to be one of the tamer outings he'd been on but...it'd be fun. "And Thor doesn't like chocolate brothers?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

Tony rolled his eyes as he snorted in amusement. "Don't give the poor machine a complex. Just push the beans around a bit the next time. They don't properly settle all the time into the grinder. Flaw in the design."

He held out his hand, opening and closing his fingers until Rhodey gave him the bagel half. He took a big bite before smirking. "Mmm. Don't forget kicking your ass in aerial acrobatics. I haven't had a good fly in far too long." He took another bite of his bagel before shrugging. "No idea. Having come across 'the Many Conquests of Thor' mythology book yet to get a proper tally on the matter. Regardless of taste, he'll be very, very disappointed if he's looking for virginal," he finished with a wink.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I should fix that. Or you, one of us," Rhodey said. He didn't have that problem with a press which was why he had one still, it was the principle of the matter.

He laughed. "If our suits were similarly aerodynamic, I'd fly rings around you, blindfolded, with one hand behind my back." Okay, that might help him, the behind his back part. But even still, the point held. He was smiling though, as he teased Tony. "Well, technically he was a Fertility, God, if I remember correctly." Rhodey grinned at the last. He hadn't even been a virgin when he first met Tony. Not that virginity had any tendency to last with him around either. "Is anyone here a virgin?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

Tony waved his hand dismissively. "Just needs some additional calibrations to factor in the differences in the types of coffee beans. But if you get bored, sure, go for it." He finished off his bagel before smirking. "I'm not saving your ass if you deny people their coffee though."

He finished off his coffee before shaking his head. "You have nothing on Iron Man. Sorry, buddy, that's just how it is. No competition at all. Hence, the kicking of your ass." Leaving his mug on the counter, he made a face as he stretched. "Yeah, I think that was in the long list of crap he had domain over, plus all the storms and healing and protecting humanity." He shrugged. "Been reading up more on his brother."

He laughed as he shook his head. "That there we be a losing betting game. This is the sexiest tower in all the world after all." Which wasn't really the entire truth. He knew full well at least one virgin in the tower (at least since the last time they'd talked about that matter), but considering the other sexual issues they'd talked about, he didn't feel like opening up the status of his v-card up for public teasing.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I might do that," Rhodey said and then stared at the drawer. If he...He'd play with it sometime some afternoon, working with it virtually so the coffee maker would be down for a minimal amount of time at a time when most people could find their coffee through other means.

Rhodey snorted at his arrogance. "If we went head to head, with the same machinery, my flying would blow yours out of the water. But War Machine is more for firepower anyway."

Rhodey couldn't entirely fault Tony's thinking. After all, Tony wasn't the tactician in the group. "Trying to get an overview of the whole thing, see what you're up against, allies, enemies and all. Besides, it's fun to reread the Norse Mythology."

"Not to mention it's your tower," Rhodey said, finishing his bagel, and wiping up the crumbs. He was anxious to get going, see what Tony had done to his baby. And it was his baby now. His favorite Tony-gift yet. "You may be out of the game but there are certain expectations of a Stark House." Not that Rhodey had flirted much anyway yet.

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Let's hope going up against my allies isn't in the cards again," Tony said as he made a face. "Although I have plenty of data on Thor in that regards." He snorted. "Rereading for some. Some of us are getting a wonderful first time." He shrugged. "Not that you can believe all that crap. Who knows how much is real and how much is fake."

He laughed. "You make it sound like I'm running the best little whorehouse in New York City. Which would make a lot of money, but I think we'll stick to avenging."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I hope so to," Rhodey said, regret in his tone. But he didn't apologize, it's not what they did, and Tony would just shake off the apology anyway.

"It'd be the most popular little whorehouse, let me tell you," Rhodey said, speculatively. "You've pretty much got something for everyone here.Avenging is a better use of their talents though. Ready to go show me up again?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Not as popular without me on the menu," Tony said with a big grin. "I bet I'd make a better pimp than CEO though."

He nodded his head towards door of the kitchen before leading the way out towards the large balcony. "Have you tried the 'car wash' when you came in?" he asked curiously, an impish grin on his face. "Newest way in and out of the suit. Best flare and style so far."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Not yet, I wasn't sure if it was calibrated to my size as well as yours," Rhodey admitted. They were different sizes, and the suits were different too.

He followed Tony gamely though. "Dunno. I think you made a decent CEO. But you might be more interested in being a pimp. That would help."

[playboy_philanthropist]

Tony waved a hand dismissively. "JARVIS knows you. He'll take care of you. But I've checked it over and it'll work fine."

He shook his head with a laugh. "I'd be a kick-ass pimp. Which is much, much better than a decent CEO," he joked before bouncing up the steps to the 'car wash'. He was really looking forward to this. He hadn't had a good fly for awhile now between stuff in the tower and business. "JARVIS, fire her up," he called out before smirking over his shoulder at Rhodey. "Just remember to keep walking forward at a consistent speed."

With that he strode out along the walkway, a thrill going through him at the familiar whirl of the machinery and the armor being strapped onto him. When he got to the end, he flipped the helmet open as he turned back towards Rhodey at the end of the runway, his arms spread out wide. "Am I good or what?"

[lt_col_rhodes]

"That's what I'm afraid of," Rhodey muttered softly, watching Tony go through the 'car wash'. Trust Tony to pick the flashiest way to put on a suit possible. "Looks good. Though inflating your ego again may pop inflate your suit and burst it..."

He took a deep breath. Confidence and consistency? He could do that. "Okay, let me get mine on and we'll get flying." He'd feel better up in the air. He always did. He was damned grateful he could share that with Tony now, in a way that Tony could control as well.

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Luckily this suit has state of the art ego absorption technology. No matter how big my ego gets, the suit will stay exactly the same size," Tony called out with a cheeky grin as he watched Rhodey go through the machinery. Even though the smirk didn't leave his face, his eyes were critical, watching to make sure everything moved properly with the calibrations for Rhodey's body and gait and always looking for areas for improvement. That was one added benefit of having Rhodey about. He got to see things work from a distance for once. He gave a nod once his friend was fully in his suit, his grin going wider as he closed his helmet.

"Hope you haven't gone soft sitting on that base of yours," he teased over the comm before taking a bounce step before taking off into the air. Oh yes he needed this. The thrill and the freedom that flying in the suit always caused, even if it was in the middle of battle, even if operating the suit had become second nature to him. He zoomed away a bit before flipping to fly backwards and keep an eye on Rhodey to make sure the improvements on the suit were working right.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Should employ that technology for making pants for Banner," Rhodey joked. The suit fit just about right, a little tight around hte shoulders but that as likely could be because of the modifications that Tony had been making. He took a few moments to bring up the HUD screen, and go through his diagnostics. "All green, and ready to fly."

He suited action to words and took off, smiling as he felt the ground fall away from his feet. There was something absolutely magnificent about being the master of gravity instead of it's bitch. He looped around Tony, twisting and turning and seeing how it curved anew, appreciating the care Tony had taken in improving its maneuverability. "Tag, you're it.." He started flying away after tapping Tony's shoulder. Okay, juvenile, but the best way to assess their abilities sometimes was the most fun.

[playboy_philanthropist]

Tony laughed. "Sadly the technology only works on non-physical items. But we're working on Bruce's pants problem."

A warm feeling of pride went through him as he watched Rhodey fly around. Yeah, this was definitely a good idea. A wicked grin spread across his face when Rhodey tagged him and flew off. Oh yes. Good idea. Even if it wasn't the most glorious thing for people to see Iron Man doing. But then he couldn't go any lower than peeing in the suit really.

He sped after Rhodey for a moment before veering off down a side street. He did know the area a bit too well now after all the circling around he'd done during the battle, even if he'd had JARVIS help with maps. He circled around keeping an eye on where Rhodey was on his screen as he navigated the streets. Swooping back around to the main street, he laughed as he sped over Rhodey and lightly clanked his glove against the suit's helmet. "You're it, honey bear."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I'll get you, my sweet." Rhodey grinned when Tony took his bait. He didn't even mind that Tony got him so quickly. This was the fun way to get out of the city after all. They had plenty of time to be serious in battle. Flying should be fun. He called up the GPS of the surrounding area and looked for the direction TOny was heading and any nearby pavilions and playgrounds. He'd head that way and hope Tony was being Tony and couldn't resist buzzing one or the other.

The controls were more responsive to his movements now, less trying to fly using someone else's body memory. It still didn't corner on a dime like the Iron Man suit but he didn't feel as much like he was trying to fly a barge either. "More responsive."

"Good, I'd hate to be pantsless in public the way that guy winds up all the time." Rhodey liked his pants

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Pantless in public isn't nearly as bad as you all make it out to be," Tony said with a smirk and a roll of his eyes as he kept his attention on where Rhodey was and his surroundings. "And it better be more responsive. I don't spend all my time down in my lab jerking off."

The playground catching his eye, he couldn't help slowing down and looping down lower. When he saw he had the kids' attention, he did a twisting backflip before floating in place so he could wave at them. That should give some bragging rights for at least a week.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"You'd have the experience," Rhodey teased. "A lot of experience." He shuddered a little at the mental image. "If you were jerking off on my suit I don't want to know why you didn't just come get me."

And it gave Rhodey a chance to catch up with Tony and tag him. He repressed the memories of the last time he had a long straight-a-way and was chasing Tony. After all other people in their little frat house had had it worse, actually not in control of their bodies, rather than just the suit they were wearing. "You're it." He took care to keep his voice even, so their day wouldn't get ruined and Tony could have a fun time, just relaxing. He did land though, ostensibly to let Tony land and do a couple autographs for the munchkins.

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Best way to get that new car shine," Tony teased over the comm system before setting the speaker on as they landed. One good thing about the mask was he didn't have to really worry about his expression, so he could actually grin like an idiot at the kids coming over instead of worrying about his public image.

After some searching through bags by kids and parents alike, he had signed a backpack, notebook, an actual action figure (he was still getting used to that), and a little girl's cast. Kneeling down to help one of the boys (maybe the action figure owner) climb onto his shoulders for a picture, he gestured towards Rhodey. "Come on, guys. Don't leave my buddy here out. He'd gotten a lot more medals than I have and he helped me beat all those robots at the Expo. And let me tell you. He makes an awesome jungle gym. He's even tougher than I am."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"But he attacked you!" One of the small ones said. "He fought you when the bad stuff happened at your Expo!" She glared and stepped protectively in front of Iron Man. "And he was chasing you right now again!"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Hey, hey now," Tony said. "He didn't attack me. That's my best friend in there. You know how computers can get viruses and do really crazy things? Well, the suit had a virus, but we fixed that and he fought right along side me after that. Got a medal for it too. And don't worry, we've upgraded all of his security systems, so he is going to be virus free from now on."

He shifted the boy on his shoulders before kneeling closer to the girl. "We were playing. You guys all play tag, right? We were playing tag. Scout's honor. And you want to know a secret?" He paused dramatically, waiting for the kids to lean in just the right amount. "I'm it. Which means you're now it." He tapped the little girl lightly on the shoulder, grinning widely as the other kids caught on and scattered as quickly as they had gathered. "And no tag backs!" he added when the little girl raised her hand to get him back.

[lt_col_rhodes]

Rhodey laughed at the effortless way Tony handled the kids, still feeling a little kicked. "Does this mean we're hanging out here until the ice cream truck comes by again?" Rhodey's voice was warm with amusement on the private channel. "Spotted it two or three blocks back. He evaded the daring girl who tried to get him next. On the ground or it wouldn't be fair. He switched to the public on. "Almost got me!"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Go for a hug," Tony egged the girl on. "His weakness is hugs!"

Straightening up, he turned towards the little boy's mom. "Alright, give me your best Iron Man pose up there," he said, waiting for the boy to stick out his arm before sticking out his own arm carefully as if they were firing their repulsors at the camera.

He switched over to the private comm as he helped the boy get down from his shoulders. "Might as well. It'll be a good distraction and the parents cursing me out for sugaring up their kids will balance out whatever perception of humanity I just gave them all."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Sounds good to me," Rhodey said in answer to both, kneeling so the girl could hug if she wanted to. "What's your name?"

"Cassie!" the little girl chirped, and hugged War Machine. "No more viruses. Daddy says you get them from looking at naughty stuff, so don't do that."

"I won't, I promise," Rhodey said. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I wanna be a 'lectrical engineer, like Daddy was 'fore he went to jail. That's my aunt. My mommy don't want me," she said. "Or a scientist. Or a mermaid." She waved to a lady and then ran off to play with the other kids.

Rhodey laughed. Kids. Poor kid though, her Dad in jail. "Having fun bro?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Don't limit yourself!" Tony called out publicly to the girl. "Be the best, electrical engineer, scientist mermaid you can be!"

He grinned behind his mask as he switched the comm back to private. "Time of my life," he said as he caught a ball and tossed it lightly back to the kids by the court. "But we got big kid plans and it's better to leave before they get the bright idea to see if I can push them over the crossbar on the swings."

He heard the ice cream truck at the same time as some of the kids, which meant he had to wade through a sea of them to get to the truck and the very surprised ice cream man. Nodding his head back to open his face-mask, he gave the man his most charming grin as he pulled his wallet out. "Today is your lucky day. So, what'll cover all your ice cream for the day? Two thousand? How about we go with five?" He pulled out the bills and handed them to the stunned worker. "So, free ice cream for all the kids on the rest of your route today." Turning around, he raised his hands. "Hey everyone, today ice cream is on my good friend here," he said as he went over to clap Rhodey on the shoulder. "So, enjoy your free goodies." He raised a hand to stop them all. "As long as whoever is watching you says it's alright."

He pushed his face mask down again and backed up carefully with a tug at Rhodey's arm. "Come on. Let's make our escape while they're distracted," he said over the comm system.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Or worse, they start asking us to give them rides," Rhodey loved watching Tony with the kids. He was so good with them, maybe because he hadn't had much of a chance to be one himself, he had all that pent up kid-ness in him. Plus, kids were like a bunch of little alcoholics, they told the complete truth without shame.

"You don't want any?" Rhodey teased as they pulled far enough away from the kids to be able to lift off again, and start flying towards upstate New York. "Not even to go?" He hoped that driver knew that he was really supposed to give away the ice cream, since Tony had bought him out today and didn't just hoard it.

[playboy_philanthropist]

"There are ten times better treats waiting for us up in Ithaca," Tony said with a laugh as he jumped into the air and hovered a moment to wave at the few kids whose attention were drawn away from the ice cream truck. "You're welcome to try and steal some, but I'm leaving room for the wine."

He grinned widely. "And you are still it," he teased before zooming off down the street.

[lt_col_rhodes]

"I'm holding you to that, those Ninja Turtle popsicles look really good," Rhodey took off after him, flying and glorying in flight. He eventually caught up with Tony, once they got outside the city limits. He tapped the boot of Tony's suit and flew off at a diagonal angle. "Tag. Wish Pep saw you with those kids."

[playboy_philanthropist]

"As totally bodacious and tasty as mutated martial arts reptiles are, you will see the light after the first sip of wine," Tony said with a laugh, falling into a lazier flight pattern once they were out of the city and cruising upstate. He made sure that JARVIS had their airspace cleared, doing a corkscrew as he chased Rhodey. "I'm sure she'll see the photos online and print them out to put in the 'reasons to forgive Tony after he's done something that has made me pull out all my hair' folder."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Is it boxed wine?" Rhodey teased Tony. "Are you intending to make her pull her hair out again? She's got nice hair, you shouldn't make her go bald before her time." Rhodey barrel rolled. He wasn't normally allowed to do that for the fun of it while flying planes, and then headed straight down, before pulling up. Experience vs maneuverability. Although it was a LOT more maneuverable now. Felt less like he was driving and more like he was flying.

[playboy_philanthropist]

"I am going to drop your ass into the lake if you bring up the boxed wine again," Tony countered with a roll of his eyes and a smirk. "Or program your suit to constantly play 'Never Gonna Give You Up' on repeat."

He couldn't help his smirk growing as he watched Rhodey fly. Good, working much better. He used Rhodey's maneuvers to his advantage, positioning himself to make use of the 'blind-spots' in the armor. "Not intending. Tends to happen though. At least I have the money to buy her the best wigs available. She could have a different color for each day of the week," he said, before zipping forward and tagging Rhodey on the ankle before going into a dive. "You're it. Again. Tempted to be an ass and call no tag backs too."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"You need to design a few more armors before we can play no tag backs," Rhodey said, chuckling softly. "Do you want our girl with different hair colors? She'd probably do it for you. Well, either that or tell you to go to hell Mr Stark." Rhodey just laughed at Tony's reaction to the boxed wine. "After what you made me drink that one time. I don't think you've got anything on that yet. I don't care if it was supposedly culturally signifcant, butter tea is disgusting."

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Most likely not happening," Tony chuckled a sly smirk quirking his lips. "And I don't think Pep is excited enough about hers to join us in a game of tag." He snorted. "Hey, why don't you ask her about the change in hair color instead? It'll be fun. Just make sure to do it in a good view of multiple cameras. Double points if you also ask Natasha about being a kiss-a-gram within the same instance."

He swooped, enjoying just the joy of flying without any other purpose. Because really tag was nothing compared to being chased by space whales. "Just be glad you didn't have to drink 40 cups a day like some of the locals do. That stuff'll keep you going for hours too. Man, I wonder how much of it Thor could drink."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"Pep has one now? We should take her out anyway, so she'll be good with it," Rhodey knew it took some practice to fly these, after all, he'd had his own learning curve. "What are we calling her?"

He rolled his eyes, even though Tony couldn't see him. "Because I like my life the way it is, with thing showing up like toilet paper and my mail. Why would I ask Natalie...Natasha, about kissograms?"

Rhodey watched him fly. "Somehow I don't want to know. We'd be rolling him out and he'd have to enter the tower through the Hulk's door. Tag done?"

[playboy_philanthropist]

"Yup. I surprised her with it. Thought she was going to knock my head off for a moment." Tony made a face. "It's not like that, Rhodey. It's just a safety measure. An escape route. JARVIS is all set to completely pilot for her and he's good at it. A show off, but good."

He laughed. "Have you seen Thor eat? I think they'd run out of butter tea before we'd have to roll him out anywhere. I'm looking forward to and dreading the first party he throws here. And yes, tag is done. I win. Because I am awesome like that."

[lt_col_rhodes]

"That's all the more reason to make sure she can pilot it bro," Rhodey said soberly. "If you're down to the point she needs an escape route, Jarvis may be tied up helping you. Or worse, down himself which leaves her...still stuck." He knew Tony no longer depended on Jarvis as much but he worried for the family they'd created, especially about Pepper. She kept getting in the middle of everything whether she was supposed to or not.

"True enough," Rhodey acknowledged. "You win because you're bored playing you mean." Rhodey was okay losing for now. Just meant he could start it again on the trip home. "Isn't that our place up ahead?"