Emails [Wednesday evening]

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Avengers, Tower Residents, SHIELD
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Howl-o-ween

You are all invited to a frightful fest of fun on Halloween night at the tower. There will be food, candy, drinks, and partying. We'll be starting the party later in the night, around 9 or 10, so that you all can have your Halloween fun. I'm looking at you, Barton. I know you go around egging and TP-ing everyone's houses after stealing all the candy from the unmanned bowls. Since the party will be late on a Wednesday and in the spirit of team building and awesomeness, everyone has Thursday morning off of work. So no excuses. Be here in costume or the hauntings will start!

---

To: Avengers, Tower Residents, SHIELD (minus Barton, Clint and Hill, Maria)
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Howl-o-ween part deux

So, all of you, the other part of this shindig is a surprise birthday celebration for two special agents, Maria and Clint. Again, emphasis on surprise, so hence the separate email. It's low key though, so don't worry about presents or anything like that. There'll be cake type things and singing. And maybe some themed drinks. So, again, be there!

---

To: Lewis, Darcy
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: The Mistress of Baked Goods

Darcy, darling. I was wondering how your brownie making skills are. Normal brownies that is. Also, if they are good, would you be willing to make some brownies for a surprise joint birthday party for Clint and Maria. Well, brownies and a cake. You can get any ingredients you want on my tab and whatever fees you need as well.

---

To: Bruce the Smart One
From: Tony the Delusional One
Subject: I might be going crazy

Ok, so, haven't been getting much sleep and all, but that usually doesn't affect the whole scientific thought process. It really is amazing how great coffee is.

Anyways. Right. I was looking through the samples from Loki and- I know I have robotics and engineering on the mind, but can you take a look at the sample photos I've attached? Because I swear there is nanotech modules on the cellular level that are acting like they belong there and are built into the actually biology of the cell and that has to be impossible, right? Ok, ignore the whole blood of a 'god' thing and aliens and all those excuses about how impossible doesn't really apply to our normal ideas of the universe and science right now. Because holy shit, I'm going crazy right? Because I keep looking at these photos and wondering if drinking that scotch right before boxing was a good idea.

Comments

[agent_barton]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Barton, Clint
Subject: Howl-o-ween

I am a paragon of good manners and virtue. Your insinuations offend me.

LOL. Not really. Want to come Oreo Fury's SUV with me?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Barton, Clint
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Pfft, you shouldn't even try to fool me. We've had a tequila night. I'm all over you.

Hrm. Such a hard decision. I might have to think that over a long- Who am I kidding? That sounds like a great idea! Just so you know, that happens to any of my babies and you will be in serious trouble. Like arrows were the sun don't shine trouble.

[the_spy]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Fury, Nick
CC: Avengers, Tower Residents, SHIELD
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Stark, by whose goddamn authority are you giving my agents and staff the morning off?

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Fury, Nick
From: Coulson, Phil
CC: Tony is always in deep shit Stark
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Mine, Sir. There's a memo on your desk about it. Team bonding exercise.

[the_spy]

To: Coulson, Phil
CC: Tony is always causing deep shit Stark
From: Fury, Nick
Subject: Howl-o-ween

As long as I'm in the loop, right Coulson? You'd better hope there aren't any aliens attacking November 1st, or you're handling them alone.

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Fury, Nick
From: Coulson, Phil
CC: Tony is always full of shit Stark
Subject: Howl-o-ween

The memo is on your desk, sir. As long as I can use the rocket launcher, Earth will be safe.

[the_spy]

To: Coulson, Phil
CC: Tony well we can agree on that Stark
From: Fury, Nick
Subject: Howl-o-ween

So say we all, Coulson. I'm giving myself the morning off too.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Fury, Nick
CC: Coulson, Phil
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Oh good, that means you'll be at the party then! Now remember, costumes are required!

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Savior of my Ass
From: Full of shit
Subject: Howl-o-ween

I have a good condition Captain America #1 comic with your name on it if you can get Fury to come to the party as a pirate.

[natashka]

To: Martha Stewart
From: Femme Fatale
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Well done. Gold star.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: The Nikita with Legs
From: Sexier than Martha
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Thank you. I even got yelled at by Fury. Go me! Does that get a gold star too? I'm trying to collect enough to make up a full costume by Wednesday.

[natashka]

To: Obsessed with Sex Appeal
From: Nikita has nothing on me
Subject: Howl-o-ween

That's easy. Some of us do that on a daily basis.

Costumes should be street legal, Tony. No nudity - you don't want to scar Steve.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Super Sexy Spy
From: Obsessed with Sex
Subject: Howl-o-ween

Yes, easy, but usually he likes ignoring me. And to think, for once there was paperwork and I still get yelled at. Woe. Just more proof that paperwork is pointless and should be ignored.

Are you implying that I can't get enough stars to get street legal? Well, I suppose that would be an awful lot of stars. And he's an artist. He should be able to handle naked people just being naked. Even if I am a stunning example of humanity.

[natashka]

To: Sex Addict
From: You wish you looked this good
Subject: Howl-o-ween

You could just dress in drag. That would shock Steve just as well. Although we don't really want to shock him.

[agentdarcy]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Lewis, Darcy
Subject: The Mistress of Baked Goods

I make awesome brownies. Normal ones, not the other kind - I don't think I've ever tried my hand at those. And of course I'll make brownies and a cake for Clint and Maria.

I'll take you up on the ingredients, but I'm not charging anything extra.

TMoBG, who thinks her new title is awesome.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Lewis, Darcy
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: The Mistress of Baked Goods

Brilliant. Go all out then. I won't say no to special brownies, but maybe we can save those for a slightly more intimate party. Or just give them to Clint as a present.

You're too good to me. If you ever want to be put on the payroll as Stark's personal baker, just give a yell.

Don't forget the trademark on that. It is a good new title.

[doctor_banner]

To: Tony the Delusional One
From: Bruce the Smart One
Subject: What, another dream?

...Wait, what? Nanotech where? Give me a minute. How much coffee have you had?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Bruce the Smart One
From: Tony the Delusional One
Subject: Yeah, another one of the non-nightmare variety.

In the cells and the nuclei. Keep looking at it. It still is there. Definitely not a malfunction in the equipment or dirt on the screens. Good thing about the holometric displays. No dirt specs.

Man, you actually expect me to have kept count? Also, the past hour, since I got back from the meeting, or the entire day? Not that I know the answer to any of them. Huh. JARVIS is saying only two cups over the past hour.

[doctor_banner]

To: Tony the Delusional One
From: Bruce the Smart One
Subject: So not your garden variety wet dream, then.

That's... How is this possible?

But how many does JARVIS say you had before that? Let's go with today, since a lifetime number could take a while to calculate. You're not sleeping, but is it because of the dreams or are they a product of mental fatigue? Just a thought.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Bruce the Smart One
From: Tony the Delusional One
Subject: Yeah, the not garden variety again.

In which you probably want more information than a subject line while at the same time not wanting any at all. Same weird-ass dream with the same guy at MIT. Although saw more of him this time and... maybe you're right about the mental fatigue thing. Although still looking at the nanotech and it's not going away... And I'm going to decline to answer the coffee question. And JARVIS isn't allowed to tell you either. Although he's saying lifetime number would be difficult to calculate and hypothetical considering he doesn't have all the data.

[lt_col_rhodes]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Rhodes, James
Subject: Howl-o-ween part deux

Tony, surprise party. For at least one assassin.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Rhodes, Rhodey
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Howl-o-ween part deux

Pfft. He's not the tech savvy one, so we're safe. Now if we were trying to surprise, Natasha. That'd be a whole other matter.

[lt_col_rhodes]

To: Stark, Anthony Edward
From: Rhodes, Jim
Subject: Howl-o-ween part deux

Is the lack of tech going to kill you and or guests less? And have you evaluated Agent Hill's response to surprises and deadliness level already?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Oh No the Full Name
From: Am I in Trouble Again?
Subject: Howl-o-ween part deux

Ah, went with the different assassin spy aspect than I was thinking. I was thinking hacking and finding out about the surprise aspect.

They already know there's going to be a party. It's not like it's going to be a complete surprise. Just the cake and brownie part. And Darcy might get a complex if they start killing people because her baked goods get brought out with candles in them.

[lt_col_rhodes]

To: Yes the Full Name
From: Depends on if you cleared your idea through Pep
Subject:Howl-o-ween part deux

I was thinking of the unhappy with people jumping out yelling Surprise

So not only are you risking death, you are risking Miss Darcy's mental state. She's too nice to risk it.

Why are you and parties bad ideas?